Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Cybertruck: The New Raccoon Gold Rush
READ MORE →: Cybertruck: The New Raccoon Gold RushPalo Alto, CA – Tesla’s Cybertruck: a monument to angularity or a cosmic dumpster? The jury’s…
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Boy Who Was Forced to Eat His Vegetables Found Dead at Age 6
READ MORE →: Boy Who Was Forced to Eat His Vegetables Found Dead at Age 6PAHRUMP – NV. In a tragic yet oddly predictable turn of events, young Timothy Greensprout, a…
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Hamburglar’s Criminal History Discovered to Have Started After Being Jailed by Kamala Harris for Being in Possession of 1 Joint.
READ MORE →: Hamburglar’s Criminal History Discovered to Have Started After Being Jailed by Kamala Harris for Being in Possession of 1 Joint.CHICAGO – IL. In a shocking revelation that has stunned both the fast-food and legal communities,…
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Hard Seltzers Provide Rapid Gender Transition From Male to Female.
READ MORE →: Hard Seltzers Provide Rapid Gender Transition From Male to Female.ORLANDO, FL – In a development that’s sure to send shockwaves through the beverage and gender…
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After Going into Debt for Disney Vacation, Parents Ask Biden for Loan Forgiveness
READ MORE →: After Going into Debt for Disney Vacation, Parents Ask Biden for Loan ForgivenessLAKE BUENA VISTA, FL – In a move that economists are calling “the most American thing…
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U.C. Berkeley’s Latest Discovery Only Compounds The Problem Of Toxic Vaginas On Campus
READ MORE →: U.C. Berkeley’s Latest Discovery Only Compounds The Problem Of Toxic Vaginas On CampusBERKELEY, CA – As if navigating the treacherous waters of campus hookup culture wasn’t already nightmarish…
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U.S. Unveils Project Studmuffin: Genetically Engineered Super Males Fail to Impress Modern Females.
READ MORE →: U.S. Unveils Project Studmuffin: Genetically Engineered Super Males Fail to Impress Modern Females.WASHINGTON D.C. – In a desperate attempt to reverse a declining birth rate, the U.S. government…
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Domestic Dispute Takes Dark Turn as Woman Withholds Sandwich, Accidentally Summons Hitler’s Spirit
READ MORE →: Domestic Dispute Takes Dark Turn as Woman Withholds Sandwich, Accidentally Summons Hitler’s SpiritCONCORD, NC – In a bizarre incident that has authorities baffled, a seemingly routine domestic spat…
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Subaru Grants Special Exemption Allowing Woman to Buy One of Their Cars Despite Not Being a Lesbian
READ MORE →: Subaru Grants Special Exemption Allowing Woman to Buy One of Their Cars Despite Not Being a LesbianMONTPELIER, VERMONT – In a groundbreaking move, Subaru of America announced today it has granted a…
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Cap’N Crunch Claims Another Victim: Boy Needs Surgery After Breakfast Turned Brawl
READ MORE →: Cap’N Crunch Claims Another Victim: Boy Needs Surgery After Breakfast Turned BrawlSEDONA, AZ – Ahoy, mateys! Prepare to batten down the hatches of your digestive systems, because…
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Attorneys To Charge Inventors of USB-A Socket Design With Crimes Against Humanity
READ MORE →: Attorneys To Charge Inventors of USB-A Socket Design With Crimes Against HumanityTRENTON, NJ. – In a landmark case that has tech nerds glued to their screens (ironically,…
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Dial-Up Dread: Online “Experts” Suffer Catastrophic IQ Drop After Brief Internet Hiatus
READ MORE →: Dial-Up Dread: Online “Experts” Suffer Catastrophic IQ Drop After Brief Internet HiatusSilicon Valley, CA – In a development that would send shivers down the spine of any…