Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Director Defies All Rules And Casts A Straight, White, Male For His Next Commercial
READ MORE →: Director Defies All Rules And Casts A Straight, White, Male For His Next CommercialMADISON, WI. In a move that has sent shockwaves through the notoriously diverse landscape of yogurt…
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Yeehaw! Jesus Really Dug Those Shrapnel Showers, Says Man Now Sporting Gummy Smile!
READ MORE →: Yeehaw! Jesus Really Dug Those Shrapnel Showers, Says Man Now Sporting Gummy Smile!RUM CREEK, WV – Holy Shrapnel, Man Loses Chompers, Ray LaRue (42) of Rum Creek, West…
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With More States Legalizing Marijuana, Build a Bear Stores Being Converted to Build a Bong Stores in Malls Nationwide
READ MORE →: With More States Legalizing Marijuana, Build a Bear Stores Being Converted to Build a Bong Stores in Malls NationwideST. LOUIS, MO – Brace yourselves, parents! As marijuana legalization sweeps across the nation, the beloved…
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Americans Gather To Once Again Celebrate Kicking England’s Ass.
READ MORE →: Americans Gather To Once Again Celebrate Kicking England’s Ass.Washington D.C. – In a move that would leave even the Founding Fathers scratching their powdered…
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Wabasha Man Loses Arm in Catfish Cage Match, Claims Rare Appearance from “Catfish Hunter” Responsible
READ MORE →: Wabasha Man Loses Arm in Catfish Cage Match, Claims Rare Appearance from “Catfish Hunter” ResponsibleWabasha, MN – Local man, Cletus O’Sullivan, is nursing a decidedly one-sided battle wound after a…
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NIH Finally Determines Source Of Covid-19: Turns Out It Was Just Whoopi Goldberg’s Undies All Along
READ MORE →: NIH Finally Determines Source Of Covid-19: Turns Out It Was Just Whoopi Goldberg’s Undies All AlongNEW YORK, N.Y. – In a shocking turn of events, the National Institutes of Health (NIH)…
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Leftists Gather at Pretentious Social Event, Discuss Evils of Money While Sipping $12 Fair-Trade Kombucha
READ MORE →: Leftists Gather at Pretentious Social Event, Discuss Evils of Money While Sipping $12 Fair-Trade KombuchaBERKELEY, CA – In a scene dripping with irony thicker than artisanal avocado toast, a gaggle…
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POTD Exclusive! NBC Tearfully Confirms Beloved Sitcom Alien ALF, Was Actually Just a Guy in a Furry Suit
READ MORE →: POTD Exclusive! NBC Tearfully Confirms Beloved Sitcom Alien ALF, Was Actually Just a Guy in a Furry SuitNEW YORK, NY – In a move that will leave a generation of latchkey children questioning…
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Guidance Counselor Fired After Suggesting “Unrealistic” Career Path: Gainful Employment
READ MORE →: Guidance Counselor Fired After Suggesting “Unrealistic” Career Path: Gainful EmploymentNEW YORK CITY, NY – In a move that sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of…
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Suicide Pact Fizzles After Teens Confuse Russian Roulette with Spin The Bottle.
READ MORE →: Suicide Pact Fizzles After Teens Confuse Russian Roulette with Spin The Bottle.Cleveland, OH – In a development that will make teenagers everywhere reconsider their internet research skills,…
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Harold “Rock Solid” Johnson Passes Away: World Remembers Unwavering Commitment to Lies
READ MORE →: Harold “Rock Solid” Johnson Passes Away: World Remembers Unwavering Commitment to LiesMURFREESBORO, TN – The quiet town of Murfreesboro is mourning the loss of Harold “Rock Solid”…
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San Fran Crowns “Cardboard King” in Upcycled (and Slightly Soggy) Ceremony
READ MORE →: San Fran Crowns “Cardboard King” in Upcycled (and Slightly Soggy) CeremonySan Francisco, CA – In a development that surprised literally no one who’s ever navigated Market…