Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Social Security Administration Proves to Be as Inept at Guarding Your Personal Information as They Are at Managing Money
READ MORE →: Social Security Administration Proves to Be as Inept at Guarding Your Personal Information as They Are at Managing MoneyIn a move that shocked precisely no one, the Social Security Administration (SSA) has once again…
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Teenaged KFC Employee Was Trained by the Military to See in Night Vision
READ MORE →: Teenaged KFC Employee Was Trained by the Military to See in Night VisionIn a shocking revelation that has left the fast-food industry reeling, a local KFC employee has…
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Starbucks Preparing to Roll Out Disgusting Fall Flavors
READ MORE →: Starbucks Preparing to Roll Out Disgusting Fall FlavorsSEATTLE, WA – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the coffee-loving community, Starbucks has…
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Jabronis Protest Olive Garden for Not Making Bolognese Like Nonna Did
READ MORE →: Jabronis Protest Olive Garden for Not Making Bolognese Like Nonna DidIn what can only be described as the most passionate protest since the Great Spaghetti Uprising…
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Bowling Alley Hires Troll to Retrieve Stuck Bowling Balls
READ MORE →: Bowling Alley Hires Troll to Retrieve Stuck Bowling BallsIn a move that has shocked and bemused the local community, Lucky Strike Bowling Alley has…
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DEI Hire at Nuclear Power Plant Ends in Chernobyl-Level Meltdown
READ MORE →: DEI Hire at Nuclear Power Plant Ends in Chernobyl-Level MeltdownTHREE MILE ISLAND, PA — A small town in rural Pennsylvania is suffering from what local…
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Public Service Announcement for Millennials and Gen Z’ers: Gran Turismo 7 Is Not Actually a Substitution for Driver’s Education
READ MORE →: Public Service Announcement for Millennials and Gen Z’ers: Gran Turismo 7 Is Not Actually a Substitution for Driver’s EducationFrom GT7 to DMV: A Reality Check EVERYWHERE, USA — As the world watches the age-old…
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Demure Diva: How Jools Lebron Wants You to Swap Your Boldness for Blandness at Work
READ MORE →: Demure Diva: How Jools Lebron Wants You to Swap Your Boldness for Blandness at WorkJools Lebron’s Demure Makeup Dictates CHICAGO, IL – In the dazzling world of TikTok, where dance…
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Back to School Season Celebrated by Cheaters Nationwide Who Get Their 7:30 AM to 3:45 PM Adultery Timeslots Back
READ MORE →: Back to School Season Celebrated by Cheaters Nationwide Who Get Their 7:30 AM to 3:45 PM Adultery Timeslots BackU.S.A. – As the crisp autumn air fills the streets and the scent of freshly sharpened…
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Creative Geniuses at Disney Are Finding New Ways to Milk Robert Downey Jr for All He’s Worth
READ MORE →: Creative Geniuses at Disney Are Finding New Ways to Milk Robert Downey Jr for All He’s WorthBurbank, CA – In a groundbreaking move that has shocked both industry analysts and casual moviegoers…
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Embarrassed by Olympic Losses in Shooting Events, Team USA to Recruit Alec Baldwin
READ MORE →: Embarrassed by Olympic Losses in Shooting Events, Team USA to Recruit Alec BaldwinPARIS, FRANCE – In a desperate bid to reclaim its former glory in Olympic shooting competitions,…
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Worlds Biggest Prepper Already Has Bunker Built for Y3K
READ MORE →: Worlds Biggest Prepper Already Has Bunker Built for Y3KAPPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS, USA – In a shocking display of foresight that has left even the most…