Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Childless Couple Considers Adoption Solely for Purpose of Getting Bullshit Days Off Work Like Everyone Else
READ MORE →: Childless Couple Considers Adoption Solely for Purpose of Getting Bullshit Days Off Work Like Everyone ElseEVERYWHERE, USA – In a bold move that has left their friends, family, and HR department…
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Jimmy Buffett Album Sales Expected to Plummet to 0 After Final Alcoholic Boomer Dies
READ MORE →: Jimmy Buffett Album Sales Expected to Plummet to 0 After Final Alcoholic Boomer DiesThe music world is bracing for an unprecedented cultural collapse as experts predict that Jimmy Buffett’s…
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Skyrocketing Insurance Prices Cause Woman’s Car to Be Totaled, as Insurance Bill Exceeds Value of the Car
READ MORE →: Skyrocketing Insurance Prices Cause Woman’s Car to Be Totaled, as Insurance Bill Exceeds Value of the CarDETROIT – MI. In a stunning and deeply ironic twist of fate, local woman Jennifer Davies…
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Leroy Jones Spends 52k on Hunting Equipment, Yields 50 Lbs. of Gamey Deer Meat to Take Home
READ MORE →: Leroy Jones Spends 52k on Hunting Equipment, Yields 50 Lbs. of Gamey Deer Meat to Take HomeLeroy Jones Spends 52k on Hunting Equipment, Yields 50 Lbs. of Gamey Deer Meat to Take…
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Women’s Intuition Proven to Be a Myth After Shocking Number of Single Moms Reported on US Census
READ MORE →: Women’s Intuition Proven to Be a Myth After Shocking Number of Single Moms Reported on US CensusIn a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through living rooms and coffee shops nationwide, the…
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Nvidia Changes Name to Cyberdyne Systems to Formalize the Process of Ending Humanity
READ MORE →: Nvidia Changes Name to Cyberdyne Systems to Formalize the Process of Ending HumanityIn a bold move that analysts are calling “refreshingly transparent,” Nvidia, the world leader in AI…
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Incels from MIT Develop New Robotic Sex Doll, Resulting in Accidental Penis Detachments
READ MORE →: Incels from MIT Develop New Robotic Sex Doll, Resulting in Accidental Penis DetachmentsIn a startling development that no one could have seen coming (except literally everyone), a group…
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Wineries Hold Day Drinking Classes to Benefit Moms Whose Kids Are Now Back in School
READ MORE →: Wineries Hold Day Drinking Classes to Benefit Moms Whose Kids Are Now Back in SchoolIn a groundbreaking initiative that has moms everywhere raising their glasses, local wineries have started offering…
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Teenager Accuses Her Car of Gaslighting Her After Low Fuel Light Comes On
READ MORE →: Teenager Accuses Her Car of Gaslighting Her After Low Fuel Light Comes OnIn a dramatic confrontation that left witnesses both perplexed and concerned, local teenager Emily Thompson, 17,…
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Radical New Surgery Allows Boomers to Drive Around with Their Mouths Closed
READ MORE →: Radical New Surgery Allows Boomers to Drive Around with Their Mouths ClosedIn what experts are calling a “miracle of modern medicine,” a revolutionary new surgery has been…
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Walk of Shame Now Considered Badge of Honor, as More Women Embrace Being Enormous Whores
READ MORE →: Walk of Shame Now Considered Badge of Honor, as More Women Embrace Being Enormous WhoresIn a radical cultural shift that has fashionistas scrambling to adjust their wardrobes and therapists rethinking…
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Boomers Prove How Active and Spry They Still Are by Rushing to the Front of Every Line Before Becoming Confused and Holding Everyone Else Up
READ MORE →: Boomers Prove How Active and Spry They Still Are by Rushing to the Front of Every Line Before Becoming Confused and Holding Everyone Else UpIn a stunning display of vitality and agility, Baby Boomers across the nation are proving that…