Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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SpaceX Prepares Next Scientific Experiment To Determine How Much Debris It Can Rain Down On Turks & Caicos
READ MORE →: SpaceX Prepares Next Scientific Experiment To Determine How Much Debris It Can Rain Down On Turks & CaicosSpaceX’s “Operation Sandblaster” aims to test how many rocket shards Turks & Caicos can absorb before…
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Apple Rolls Out iOS 18.6.2, And You Know What’s New? Not A Goddamned Thing
READ MORE →: Apple Rolls Out iOS 18.6.2, And You Know What’s New? Not A Goddamned ThingApple’s iOS 18.6.2 update hit phones this week, bringing no new features except the crushing reminder…
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NOAA Renames Hurricane “Silly Goose” To Hurricane “Erin” In Ongoing Quest For Gayer Names
READ MORE →: NOAA Renames Hurricane “Silly Goose” To Hurricane “Erin” In Ongoing Quest For Gayer NamesWASHINGTON, D.C. — Declaring that the integrity of meteorological science depends on it, the National Oceanic…
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Healthcare Goes Voodoo: Pins Over Premiums
READ MORE →: Healthcare Goes Voodoo: Pins Over PremiumsAs an attractive alternative to the American healthcare system, citizens turn to voodoo—where a chicken, a…
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The Byzantine Empire of Office Banter
READ MORE →: The Byzantine Empire of Office BanterCo-Worker Tries to Pass Off Obscure References as Actual Intelligence. Brad “Actually” Henderson has turned office…
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Rock Hard, Nap Harder, Gene Simmons
READ MORE →: Rock Hard, Nap Harder, Gene SimmonsIn a revelation louder than a KISS encore, 74-year-old Gene Simmons admits the party animal days…
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Hell Freezes Over: Cyclists Yield
READ MORE →: Hell Freezes Over: Cyclists YieldIn a turn of events that has left the entire city in a state of disbelief,…
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Last Call for Unrestricted Smashing
READ MORE →: Last Call for Unrestricted SmashingNationwide Race to Get Knocked Up for One Last ‘Pre-Jan 20th Special’ Abortion as Cum Dumpsters…
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Garbage Pail Kids’ eerie foresight
READ MORE →: Garbage Pail Kids’ eerie foresightCommon toys of childhood psychopaths found to hold mystic powers.
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Dysentery deserves better resolution
READ MORE →: Dysentery deserves better resolutionDysentery makes a comeback, as Gen X activists cry for an ultra-high def gaming classic, “The…
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Lesbians Say: ‘Told You So’
READ MORE →: Lesbians Say: ‘Told You So’Subaru’s reliability allows lesbians to traverse any snail trial, lickidy split.
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Freak Off Goes Supernova
READ MORE →: Freak Off Goes SupernovaDiddy’s oil-less freak off provides enough friction to sustain nuclear fusion.