Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Institutions of Higher Learning Shockingly Prioritize, You Guessed It, Learning
READ MORE →: Institutions of Higher Learning Shockingly Prioritize, You Guessed It, LearningCAMBRIDGE, MA – In a move so radical it’s practically Marxist (but without the free lattes),…
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Doctors Blow the Whistle: Most Carpal Tunnel Not From Typing, But Rather From Raucous Masturbation.
READ MORE →: Doctors Blow the Whistle: Most Carpal Tunnel Not From Typing, But Rather From Raucous Masturbation.DES MOINS, IA – In a revelation that’s sure to leave many red-faced (and possibly hand-numbed),…
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Financial Guru Shocks World With Revolutionary New Concept: Don’t Buy Shit You Can’t Afford
READ MORE →: Financial Guru Shocks World With Revolutionary New Concept: Don’t Buy Shit You Can’t AffordLOS ANGELES, CA – In a groundbreaking move that has sent shockwaves through the get-rich-quick self-help…
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MILF Dream Turns Moldy: Man Shocked to Discover Experienced Lady Friend, Actually Ages
READ MORE →: MILF Dream Turns Moldy: Man Shocked to Discover Experienced Lady Friend, Actually AgesDENVER, CO – In a cautionary tale for the internet-addled masses, local man Brad Chadlington (32)…
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Shocking Discovery: Government Spends Millions to Confirm What Everyone Knew – Summer is a Balls-Roasting Bonanza
READ MORE →: Shocking Discovery: Government Spends Millions to Confirm What Everyone Knew – Summer is a Balls-Roasting BonanzaMIAMI, FL – In a scientific triumph that would make Captain Obvious himself do a spit-take,…
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Silicon Valley in Shambles as Woman Chooses Meaningful Work Over Exploiting Thirst Traps
READ MORE →: Silicon Valley in Shambles as Woman Chooses Meaningful Work Over Exploiting Thirst TrapsSAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a development sending shockwaves through the tech brosphere, a prominent OnlyFans…
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Swipe Left for Solvency: Man Makes Rookie Dating Mistake, Accidentally Orders Appetizer, Now Financially Responsible for Woman’s Entire Life
READ MORE →: Swipe Left for Solvency: Man Makes Rookie Dating Mistake, Accidentally Orders Appetizer, Now Financially Responsible for Woman’s Entire LifeSEATTLE, WA – In a cautionary tale for the romantically naive, a local man is experiencing…
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World Reeling After Woman’s Panties Bunch Up During Black Friday Melee: “This is Unprecedented,” Says Underwear Industry
READ MORE →: World Reeling After Woman’s Panties Bunch Up During Black Friday Melee: “This is Unprecedented,” Says Underwear IndustryBENTONVILLE, AR – In a shocking turn of events that has left the scientific community baffled,…
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Nerd Learns the Hard Way: Button Mushrooms Don’t Actually Unlock the Multiverse
READ MORE →: Nerd Learns the Hard Way: Button Mushrooms Don’t Actually Unlock the MultiverseSCRANTON, PA – In a humiliating turn of events for the local science club president, Harold…
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Houston Taco Cart on Edge After Yelp Review Raises Explosive Concerns
READ MORE →: Houston Taco Cart on Edge After Yelp Review Raises Explosive ConcernsHOUSTON, TX – A local taco cart slinging barbacoa and carnitas is under FBI investigation after…
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Wyoming High School Graduate Devastated After Discovering Laying Pipe Isn’t What His Buddies Made It Out To Be.
READ MORE →: Wyoming High School Graduate Devastated After Discovering Laying Pipe Isn’t What His Buddies Made It Out To Be.CHEYENNE, WY – In a tragic display of shattered dreams and misplaced bravado, local high school…
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Boomer Devastated to Learn That He Can No Longer Lean on Work He Did for the Company Back in 1994
READ MORE →: Boomer Devastated to Learn That He Can No Longer Lean on Work He Did for the Company Back in 1994SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a shocking turn of events, 58-year-old marketing manager, Roger Thompson, was…