Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
-
Man Shocked to Find That He’s No More Special Than Anyone Else: Reports Indicate Decades-Long Delusion
READ MORE →: Man Shocked to Find That He’s No More Special Than Anyone Else: Reports Indicate Decades-Long DelusionSAN DIEGO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, local man Harold Fitzwilliam (42) expressed…
-
OnlyFans Stars Breathe Sigh of Relief: “Single Mom Backup Plan Still Intact”
READ MORE →: OnlyFans Stars Breathe Sigh of Relief: “Single Mom Backup Plan Still Intact”LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that surprised absolutely no one familiar with the human…
-
Aliens Stop Probing Americans After Coming to Conclusion Our Asses Are Too Fat
READ MORE →: Aliens Stop Probing Americans After Coming to Conclusion Our Asses Are Too Fat1 WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, a leaked intergalactic memo reveals extraterrestrial…
-
Ticketmaster Holds Focus Group to Gauge Public’s Breathtaking Stupidity
READ MORE →: Ticketmaster Holds Focus Group to Gauge Public’s Breathtaking StupidityLOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that could only be described as “audacious” or perhaps…
-
Local Woman Achieves Comedy Nirvana: Somehow Makes Audience Laugh Without Mentioning Her Vagina
READ MORE →: Local Woman Achieves Comedy Nirvana: Somehow Makes Audience Laugh Without Mentioning Her VaginaLOS ANGELES, CA – In a development that has left scientists baffled and male comedians clutching…
-
Teenager Makes Shocking Discovery: Turns Out That Salvation Army Finds Don’t Actually Grant Wishes
READ MORE →: Teenager Makes Shocking Discovery: Turns Out That Salvation Army Finds Don’t Actually Grant WishesBOISE, ID – In a development that should surprise exactly no one who has ever stepped…
-
Bogeyman Relocates from Under Bed After Finding Adult Magazines
READ MORE →: Bogeyman Relocates from Under Bed After Finding Adult MagazinesDENVER, CO – In a shocking turn of events, the local Bogeyman, who has resided under…
-
Texans Left Reeling After Realization That The State They Are So Proud Of, Is Just Northern Mexico
READ MORE →: Texans Left Reeling After Realization That The State They Are So Proud Of, Is Just Northern MexicoAustin, TX – In a shocking turn of events that has left cowboy hats askew and…
-
Step aside Scientology, New Religion “Crystal Methodist” Sweeps Over California as Junkies Exploit Laws to Get High(er) Deductibles
READ MORE →: Step aside Scientology, New Religion “Crystal Methodist” Sweeps Over California as Junkies Exploit Laws to Get High(er) DeductiblesLOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that surprises literally no one, Californians have embraced a…
-
From Chump to Champ: Magic 8 Ball and Narcissism Propel Doug “The Oracle” Douchington to Billionaire Status
READ MORE →: From Chump to Champ: Magic 8 Ball and Narcissism Propel Doug “The Oracle” Douchington to Billionaire Status2 SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a story that rewrites the American Dream script, Doug “The…
-
Bonnet Brawl: Amish and Quakers Clash in Butter Churn Uprising
READ MORE →: Bonnet Brawl: Amish and Quakers Clash in Butter Churn Uprising0 LANCASTER, PA – Tensions in Lancaster County boiled over this week as a seemingly innocuous…
-
Bro’s at Gym Discover That There Are More Podcasts in Existence Besides The Joe Rogan Experience (Scientists Baffled).
READ MORE →: Bro’s at Gym Discover That There Are More Podcasts in Existence Besides The Joe Rogan Experience (Scientists Baffled).SAN DIEGO, CA – In a groundbreaking discovery that has left scientists scratching their heads, a…