Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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“Hold On, You Mean We Can’t All Retire on Beanie Babies and Classic Rock CDs?” – Bewildered Boomers Discover the Harsh Reality of Their Empty Nests (and Even Emptier Bank Accounts)
READ MORE →: “Hold On, You Mean We Can’t All Retire on Beanie Babies and Classic Rock CDs?” – Bewildered Boomers Discover the Harsh Reality of Their Empty Nests (and Even Emptier Bank Accounts)NAPLES, FL – In a development as shocking as the cancellation of “Full House” reruns, a…
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Local Sales Manager Astounds Team by Motivating Without Clichéd Sports Analogies
READ MORE →: Local Sales Manager Astounds Team by Motivating Without Clichéd Sports AnalogiesATLANTA, GA – In a development defying all odds, a regional sales manager has reportedly led…
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Humanity 2.0 Debuts: Turns Out Asshole-ism is the Dominant Gene, Scientists Shocked (But Not That Shocked)
READ MORE →: Humanity 2.0 Debuts: Turns Out Asshole-ism is the Dominant Gene, Scientists Shocked (But Not That Shocked)San Francisco, CA – In a development that would surprise literally no one who’s ever scrolled…
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Therapist Fired After Committing Cardinal Sin: Actually Curing Patient
READ MORE →: Therapist Fired After Committing Cardinal Sin: Actually Curing PatientTRENTON, NJ – In a development that has sent shockwaves through the psychiatry community, a local…
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Cheeto Shortage Leaves Snackers Cheezless: #BringBackTheCheetle Gains Steam
READ MORE →: Cheeto Shortage Leaves Snackers Cheezless: #BringBackTheCheetle Gains Steam1 Milwaukee, WI – A sense of despair hung heavy in the air at a Milwaukee…
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Entire Population Of California Determined To Be On The Spectrum.
READ MORE →: Entire Population Of California Determined To Be On The Spectrum.Sacramento, CA – In a groundbreaking discovery that explains a whole lot about kombucha popularity and…
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Elementary School Bake Sale Takes Unexpected Turn as “Chill” Brownies Become Surprise Hit
READ MORE →: Elementary School Bake Sale Takes Unexpected Turn as “Chill” Brownies Become Surprise HitOAK CREEK, CO – In a story that will forever redefine the concept of “accidental excellence,”…
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Home Depot Declared National Monument to Toxic Masculinity, Millennials Urged to Wear Hazmat Suits
READ MORE →: Home Depot Declared National Monument to Toxic Masculinity, Millennials Urged to Wear Hazmat SuitsAtlanta, GA – In a groundbreaking discovery that validates the fears of the entire millennial generation,…
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Gen Z Shocked by Discovery of Ancient Artifact: The Telephone
READ MORE →: Gen Z Shocked by Discovery of Ancient Artifact: The Telephone1 SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a development that sent shockwaves through the tech sector yesterday,…
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Man Finds God, Loses Him Again After Baptismal Font Fiasco
READ MORE →: Man Finds God, Loses Him Again After Baptismal Font FiascoLittle Rock, AR – In a heartwarming story that took a sharp turn towards the sacrilegious,…
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Former Children File Class Action Lawsuit Against Whitney Houston After Discovering They Were In Fact, NOT The Future
READ MORE →: Former Children File Class Action Lawsuit Against Whitney Houston After Discovering They Were In Fact, NOT The FutureLOS ANGELES – In a stunning display of millennial entitlement, a group of disgruntled ex-children have…
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Hackers Cripple Siri After Stating “The Bitch Wouldn’t Give Me A Straight Answer”
READ MORE →: Hackers Cripple Siri After Stating “The Bitch Wouldn’t Give Me A Straight Answer”1 Cupertino, CA – In a move as shocking as it is relatable, a notorious hacker…