Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
Politics Headlines
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Trump Discovers That Minnesota Is Within 2 Months of Enriching Weapons-Grade Uranium—Military Invasion Imminent
READ MORE →: Trump Discovers That Minnesota Is Within 2 Months of Enriching Weapons-Grade Uranium—Military Invasion ImminentTrump declares Minnesota “just 60 days from weapons-grade uranium enrichment,” citing corruption scandals as proof of…
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Boomers Embrace Marxist Future They Won’t Survive
READ MORE →: Boomers Embrace Marxist Future They Won’t SurviveBoomers Show Staunch Support for Marxist Politicians Who’ll Destroy the Country—But Only After Boomers Die Off.…
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Tariff Feud Escalates as Trump Implements Fee on Every Scam Call Originating From India; Trillions in Revenue Expected
READ MORE →: Tariff Feud Escalates as Trump Implements Fee on Every Scam Call Originating From India; Trillions in Revenue ExpectedTrump Slaps $5 Tariff on Every Scam Call From India, National Debt Projected to Vanish by…
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CNN Heroically Exposes Trump’s Economic Apocalypse As Dow Jones Hits 45,000
READ MORE →: CNN Heroically Exposes Trump’s Economic Apocalypse As Dow Jones Hits 45,00010-Part CNN Series to Investigate Dark Truth of Americans Accidentally Getting Rich.
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John Bolton’s House Raided by FBI; Government Confirms Possession of Recipe Containing 11 Secret Herbs and Spices
READ MORE →: John Bolton’s House Raided by FBI; Government Confirms Possession of Recipe Containing 11 Secret Herbs and SpicesFormer National Security Advisor John Bolton Finds Himself “Finger Licking Fucked” After FBI Raid Yields KFC…
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Trump Blows Smoke on Weed Reform
READ MORE →: Trump Blows Smoke on Weed ReformTrump blows smoke up everyone’s ass by teasing marijuana reclassification, dangling hope like a half-lit joint.…
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Weekend at Jimmy’s: D.C. Edition
READ MORE →: Weekend at Jimmy’s: D.C. EditionTwo deceased presidents occupying the same building at once is a first for nation.
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Billionaire Bromance Breaks During Pride
READ MORE →: Billionaire Bromance Breaks During PrideTrump and Musk Break Up During Pride Month, Ruining Billionaire Bromances Forever. In a Pride Month…
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Putin Brokers Billionaire Battle Truce
READ MORE →: Putin Brokers Billionaire Battle TruceIn a surreal twist of geopolitics and ego, Vladimir Putin will mediate peace talks between Donald…
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Snowflakes Go Literal for $150K
READ MORE →: Snowflakes Go Literal for $150KBrooklyn, NY – Americans Can Now Cryo-Freeze Themselves to Skip Trump’s Next Term. In a move…
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Headline: Election Day 2024: America Holds Its Breath, and Its Sense of Humor
READ MORE →: Headline: Election Day 2024: America Holds Its Breath, and Its Sense of HumorUNITED STATES OF AMERICA – As the sun rises on Election Day 2024, America stretches, yawns,…
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Biden to Retire to Produce Section of Local Supermarket, Where He Can Seamlessly Blend In with Other Vegetables
READ MORE →: Biden to Retire to Produce Section of Local Supermarket, Where He Can Seamlessly Blend In with Other VegetablesIn a shocking yet oddly fitting turn of events, President Joe Biden announced today that he…