Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
Politics Headlines
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Gavin Newsom Forced to Attend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University After Completely Screwing California’s Economy
READ MORE →: Gavin Newsom Forced to Attend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University After Completely Screwing California’s EconomySacramento, CA – In a move as shocking as it is long overdue, California Governor Gavin…
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Trump to Pay Hush Money to Biden After Fucking Him in Tonight’s Debate
READ MORE →: Trump to Pay Hush Money to Biden After Fucking Him in Tonight’s Debate1 ALANTA, GA – In an unprecedented turn of events that has left political analysts and…
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College Tuition Rates Mysteriously Soar Alongside Guaranteed Loan Programs: Coincidence? Absolutely.
READ MORE →: College Tuition Rates Mysteriously Soar Alongside Guaranteed Loan Programs: Coincidence? Absolutely.WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of economic synchronicity, college tuition rates have skyrocketed just…
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Founding Father’s Forbidden Fruit: Ben Franklin Revealed to be 92% Venereal Disease, Historians Shocked.
READ MORE →: Founding Father’s Forbidden Fruit: Ben Franklin Revealed to be 92% Venereal Disease, Historians Shocked.Philadelphia, PA – In a groundbreaking discovery that sheds new light on the “founding fluids” of…
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Janet Yellen’s Advice to Affording Groceries: “Just Be Worth 20 Million Dollars Like Me, I’ve Barely Noticed the Spike in Grocery Prices”
READ MORE →: Janet Yellen’s Advice to Affording Groceries: “Just Be Worth 20 Million Dollars Like Me, I’ve Barely Noticed the Spike in Grocery Prices”WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a stunning display of financial acumen and impeccable timing, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has…
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US Government Agrees to Plea Deal Freeing Julian Assange in Order to Gain Better Access to Assassinating Him
READ MORE →: US Government Agrees to Plea Deal Freeing Julian Assange in Order to Gain Better Access to Assassinating Him2 Saipan, Northern Mariana Islands (POTD) – In a move that would make Machiavelli himself raise…
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With Social Security Program Going Broke, Government Looks For New Ponzi Schemes To Force Americans To Participate In
READ MORE →: With Social Security Program Going Broke, Government Looks For New Ponzi Schemes To Force Americans To Participate InWashington D.C. – With Social Security teetering on the edge of insolvency, the ever-resourceful U.S. government…
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Fed Chair Yellen to Nation: Relax About the Debt, Folks, It’s Nowhere Near “Gajillion” Yet
READ MORE →: Fed Chair Yellen to Nation: Relax About the Debt, Folks, It’s Nowhere Near “Gajillion” Yet1 WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that sent markets into a frenzy of nervous laughter,…
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Participation Trophy Blues: America’s Young Men Discover Consequences
READ MORE →: Participation Trophy Blues: America’s Young Men Discover ConsequencesWASHINGTON D.C. – In a development that would leave Founding Father eyebrow’s permanently furrowed, America’s fresh…
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Laptop From Hell Lives Up to Name: Hunter Biden’s Defense Blames Ghost for Felony Gun Charges
READ MORE →: Laptop From Hell Lives Up to Name: Hunter Biden’s Defense Blames Ghost for Felony Gun ChargesWILMINGTON, DE – In a legal maneuver so outlandish it would make even the most flamboyant…
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Pentagon Unveils Redneck Force: Because Freedom Ain’t Free, But It Should Come With a Yeehaw
READ MORE →: Pentagon Unveils Redneck Force: Because Freedom Ain’t Free, But It Should Come With a YeehawWASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that surprised literally no one, the Pentagon yesterday announced the…
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Commander in Grief: Exiled President Blames “Radical Greenies” for Adult Diaper Debacle
READ MORE →: Commander in Grief: Exiled President Blames “Radical Greenies” for Adult Diaper Debacle1 WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning display of poetic justice, disgraced President Joe “Big Shart”…