Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
National Headlines
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Bitch Who Moved Out of Ludacris’s Way in 2001 Regrets Decision
READ MORE →: Bitch Who Moved Out of Ludacris’s Way in 2001 Regrets DecisionBitch Haunted by 20+ Years of Regret After Obeying Ludacris Traffic Order
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Man Perishes While Waiting For Wife To Find Something To Watch On Netflix
READ MORE →: Man Perishes While Waiting For Wife To Find Something To Watch On NetflixBrian Laskey’s final words—“Just… pick… anything”—were ignored as his wife hovered over Emily in Paris for…
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Small Business Owner Makes Enormous Sacrifice, Makes Phone Call During Vacation to Ensure All Employees Are Working Hard
READ MORE →: Small Business Owner Makes Enormous Sacrifice, Makes Phone Call During Vacation to Ensure All Employees Are Working Hard“Has Anyone Been Goofing Off?” Asks Boss From Hammock While Employees Skip Lunch To Meet Deadlines.
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Abortion Deadline Rush Spawns Unplanned Generation
READ MORE →: Abortion Deadline Rush Spawns Unplanned GenerationSluts Nationwide Face the Consequences of Their “Pre-Jan 20th Special” Abortion Spree. Nine months later, the…
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Attorney Slips on Own Snow-Covered Porch, Successfully Sues Himself for Negligence
READ MORE →: Attorney Slips on Own Snow-Covered Porch, Successfully Sues Himself for NegligenceJUDGE DECLARES ‘I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT’ AS SELF-SUING ATTORNEY CALLS HIMSELF TO THE STAND
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Non-Vented C.A.R.B. Compliant Gas Can Spillage Now Exceeds 1 Quadrillion Gallons; Environmentalists Revel in Program’s Success
READ MORE →: Non-Vented C.A.R.B. Compliant Gas Can Spillage Now Exceeds 1 Quadrillion Gallons; Environmentalists Revel in Program’s SuccessEnvironmentalists Hail Quadrillion-Gallon Gas Spill as Milestone in America’s Fight Against Convenience
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Breaking: Mariners Bet on Mustache Over Metrics
READ MORE →: Breaking: Mariners Bet on Mustache Over MetricsFrom analytics to antics, Mariners bet big on Ted Lasso. With every win followed by collapse,…
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Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift “Do the Right Thing” and Get Married After Swift Admits She “Didn’t Pull Out”
READ MORE →: Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift “Do the Right Thing” and Get Married After Swift Admits She “Didn’t Pull Out”Pop Diva Taylor Swift Confesses She Never Pulled Out, Travis Kelce Left With a Lifetime Contract
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Armchair Quarterbacks Waddle Into Formation
READ MORE →: Armchair Quarterbacks Waddle Into FormationArmchair Quarterbacks Waddle Into Formation for NFL Opening Week as buffet sages like Arny “Meat-Sweats” McGuffin…
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Labor Day Celebration Pays Tribute to American Workers Before Most Are Replaced by A.I.
READ MORE →: Labor Day Celebration Pays Tribute to American Workers Before Most Are Replaced by A.I.Politicians Praise “Hardworking Americans” While Beta-Testing Robots That Don’t Need Health Insurance
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Tone-Deaf Chicken Joint ‘Martin Luther Wings’ Opens Nationwide
READ MORE →: Tone-Deaf Chicken Joint ‘Martin Luther Wings’ Opens NationwideTone-Deaf Restaurant “Martin Luther Wings” Opens, Declares Itself a Civil Rights-Inspired Chicken Experience — proving once…
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Galactic Tyrant Xenu Unmasked as 7-11 Regular
READ MORE →: Galactic Tyrant Xenu Unmasked as 7-11 RegularScientology devastated to discover Xenu was actually a crackhead named Ashy Jamal. Researchers now claim the…