Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
World Headlines
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Humanity Now Collectively Wishes Y2K Would’ve Destroyed All Computers
READ MORE →: Humanity Now Collectively Wishes Y2K Would’ve Destroyed All ComputersHumanity now openly prays for Y2K to have wiped the slate clean—because nothing beats nostalgia for…
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Southwest Airlines to Implement Fat Ass Tax in 2026
READ MORE →: Southwest Airlines to Implement Fat Ass Tax in 2026Southwest unveils new motto: ‘The more you weigh, the more you pay’.
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Roger Waters Looking to Acquire Beatles Rights So He Can Fuck Up Their Music Too
READ MORE →: Roger Waters Looking to Acquire Beatles Rights So He Can Fuck Up Their Music TooRoger Waters promises to fix Beatles harmonies by replacing them with monotone lectures on neoliberalism.
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OnlyBots to Surpass OnlyFans Viewership as Comic Book Nerd Population Surges
READ MORE →: OnlyBots to Surpass OnlyFans Viewership as Comic Book Nerd Population SurgesOnlyBots Premium Promises Erotic Cosplay and Firmware Updates Without Daddy Issues, Human Performers Officially Obsolete.
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Beer-Fueled Oktoberfest Kicks Off, Proving Once Again That German Engineering Failed at Lederhosen
READ MORE →: Beer-Fueled Oktoberfest Kicks Off, Proving Once Again That German Engineering Failed at LederhosenOktoberfest Begins: Millions Celebrate Beer, Pretzels, and Suspenders So Tight That They Cause Male Sterility
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Latest Generation AI Model Proves to Still Be Dumb as Fuck. Humanity Saved… For Now.
READ MORE →: Latest Generation AI Model Proves to Still Be Dumb as Fuck. Humanity Saved… For Now.ChatGPT proves to be highly retarded, Humanity Breathes Sigh of Relief.
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Brits Know Their Food Is Shitty, But Won’t Discuss It Due To Fear of Government Backlash
READ MORE →: Brits Know Their Food Is Shitty, But Won’t Discuss It Due To Fear of Government BacklashHer Majesty’s Secret Shame: The Only Thing More Repressed Than British Free Speech Is British Cooking.
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Pyramids Linked to 21st-Century Mexican Time Travelers
READ MORE →: Pyramids Linked to 21st-Century Mexican Time TravelersForget aliens. The pyramid rose in 30 days thanks to Mexican contractors who rolled up with…
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Cambridge Dictionary Officially Becomes TikTok Comment Section
READ MORE →: Cambridge Dictionary Officially Becomes TikTok Comment SectionCambridge Dictionary, once a scholarly fortress of English, has officially rebranded as a TikTok comment thread.…
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Billionaire Larry Fink Lectures Public on “Cutting Back,” Says Private Car Ownership and Real Food Are “Overrated”
READ MORE →: Billionaire Larry Fink Lectures Public on “Cutting Back,” Says Private Car Ownership and Real Food Are “Overrated”Check out the balls on this guy…
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Bill Gates’ CO₂ Baby Oil Invention Reportedly Saves Humanity
READ MORE →: Bill Gates’ CO₂ Baby Oil Invention Reportedly Saves HumanityHumanity’s survival now depends on Diddy staying slippery. Gates’ tech turns carbon into baby oil, fueling…
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Trump Makes MMA Great Again
READ MORE →: Trump Makes MMA Great AgainTrump ditches diplomacy for dropkicks, challenging the late Iron Sheik to an MMA brawl. Shirtless, sweaty,…