Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
Top Headlines
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Dial-Up Modem Tones Have Been Linked to Secret US Government Program, MK Ultra, Phase II
READ MORE →: Dial-Up Modem Tones Have Been Linked to Secret US Government Program, MK Ultra, Phase IIDial-up modem tones were secretly part of MK Ultra MKII — the CIA’s audio mind-control program that turned an entire generation into dopamine-addicted scroll zombies who still flinch at that demonic screech. They didn’t need drugs. They just needed us to connect.
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Irish Man Found Sober, Local Scholars and Doctors Baffled
READ MORE →: Irish Man Found Sober, Local Scholars and Doctors BaffledIn a medical miracle that has stunned Ireland, 47-year-old Patrick O’Malley was found completely sober in a Dublin pub at 11:47 a.m. on a Tuesday. Local doctors are baffled, priests are being called, and the entire bar is in mourning.
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Desperate, Lonely Morons Now Paying $1.99 a Minute for AI Jesus to Stroke Their Ego and Confirm They’re Going to Heaven
READ MORE →: Desperate, Lonely Morons Now Paying $1.99 a Minute for AI Jesus to Stroke Their Ego and Confirm They’re Going to HeavenPathetic humans are now paying $1.99 a minute for AI Jesus to validate their bullshit and promise them Heaven. Real Jesus demanded sacrifice. This one just wants your credit card and three minutes of your fragile ego.
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Congress Demands That Dept of War Immediately Release AI Generated UFO Videos
READ MORE →: Congress Demands That Dept of War Immediately Release AI Generated UFO VideosCongress demands the immediate release of 46 secret UFO videos from the Dept of War — all of which were 100% AI-generated. Because nothing says government transparency like demanding better deepfakes.
Recent News
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Monstrous Energy Releases New Flavors Specifically Targeting Its Core Consumer Base
READ MORE →: Monstrous Energy Releases New Flavors Specifically Targeting Its Core Consumer Base
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Apple Releases New iMeme Device After Finally Realizing That’s All Their Customer Base Uses Their Devices For Anymore
READ MORE →: Apple Releases New iMeme Device After Finally Realizing That’s All Their Customer Base Uses Their Devices For Anymore
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Valhalla Prepares for an Epic Ass Beating After Chuck Norris Pronounced Dead at 86
READ MORE →: Valhalla Prepares for an Epic Ass Beating After Chuck Norris Pronounced Dead at 86
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Big Pharma Sues… Food Pyramid Now Officially Renamed the Food Rhombus So Drugs Can Be Included as Staples
READ MORE →: Big Pharma Sues… Food Pyramid Now Officially Renamed the Food Rhombus So Drugs Can Be Included as Staples
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Humanity Now Collectively Wishes Y2K Would’ve Destroyed All Computers
READ MORE →: Humanity Now Collectively Wishes Y2K Would’ve Destroyed All Computers
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Bill Clinton Vehemently Denies Ever Meeting a Young Woman, Numerous Members of Congress Commit Suicide Post-Deposition
READ MORE →: Bill Clinton Vehemently Denies Ever Meeting a Young Woman, Numerous Members of Congress Commit Suicide Post-Deposition
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Trump Discovers That Minnesota Is Within 2 Months of Enriching Weapons-Grade Uranium—Military Invasion Imminent
READ MORE →: Trump Discovers That Minnesota Is Within 2 Months of Enriching Weapons-Grade Uranium—Military Invasion Imminent
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OnlyFans Meets Psychic Friends Network as Online Platform Now Offers Nude Psychic Services—To Be Branded “Whore-oscope”
READ MORE →: OnlyFans Meets Psychic Friends Network as Online Platform Now Offers Nude Psychic Services—To Be Branded “Whore-oscope”
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Zoltar Machine Now Earth’s Most Reliable News Source
READ MORE →: Zoltar Machine Now Earth’s Most Reliable News Source