Est. 2024
Where the truth wears a tutu and the facts fandango. We are the Damned unreliable News!
Top Headlines
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Inflation Hits 4.20%: Stoners Celebrate “High” Economic Growth
READ MORE →: Inflation Hits 4.20%: Stoners Celebrate “High” Economic GrowthWith inflation tracking at exactly 4.20%, Wall Street is sweating while America’s cannabis community celebrates. Economists warn your dollars are burning up, but local stoners claim the government finally gave the ultimate green light. “The economy is high,” said one resident, “and honestly, man, same.”
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County Fairs Offer Unique Opportunity to Eat Deep-Fried Mystery Meat
READ MORE →: County Fairs Offer Unique Opportunity to Eat Deep-Fried Mystery MeatCounty fairs across America are rolling out their most daring culinary innovation yet: deep-fried mystery meat on a stick, giving adventurous eaters the rare thrill of consuming something that defies both identification and basic food safety standards. While health officials call it a “bold experiment in dietary roulette,” fairgoers are lining up for seconds of what might be beef, pork,…
Recent News
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Clearly Canadian Launches “Clearly Mexican” – Now With Real Tijuana Gutter Water
READ MORE →: Clearly Canadian Launches “Clearly Mexican” – Now With Real Tijuana Gutter Water
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US Government Teases UFO Files. It Turns Out That Your Anal Probing May Not Have Been Your Roommate Tyrone After All
READ MORE →: US Government Teases UFO Files. It Turns Out That Your Anal Probing May Not Have Been Your Roommate Tyrone After All
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Flux Capacitor Now Available on Temu for $9.99 With Free Shipping
READ MORE →: Flux Capacitor Now Available on Temu for $9.99 With Free Shipping
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Climate Conscious Canadians to Offer Carbon Neutral Assisted Suicide Options
READ MORE →: Climate Conscious Canadians to Offer Carbon Neutral Assisted Suicide Options
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Irish Man Found Sober, Local Scholars and Doctors Baffled
READ MORE →: Irish Man Found Sober, Local Scholars and Doctors Baffled
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Dial-Up Modem Tones Have Been Linked to Secret US Government Program, MK Ultra, Phase II
READ MORE →: Dial-Up Modem Tones Have Been Linked to Secret US Government Program, MK Ultra, Phase II
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Desperate, Lonely Morons Now Paying $1.99 a Minute for AI Jesus to Stroke Their Ego and Confirm They’re Going to Heaven
READ MORE →: Desperate, Lonely Morons Now Paying $1.99 a Minute for AI Jesus to Stroke Their Ego and Confirm They’re Going to Heaven
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Monstrous Energy Releases New Flavors Specifically Targeting Its Core Consumer Base
READ MORE →: Monstrous Energy Releases New Flavors Specifically Targeting Its Core Consumer Base
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Congress Demands That Dept of War Immediately Release AI Generated UFO Videos
READ MORE →: Congress Demands That Dept of War Immediately Release AI Generated UFO Videos