MADISON, WI. In a move that has sent shockwaves through the notoriously diverse landscape of yogurt commercials, maverick director Barry Fitzwilliam has defied all expectations and cast a straight, white, male for his upcoming Chobani campaign.
“I know, I know, it’s crazy,” Fitzwilliam admitted during a press conference held entirely in black and white. “But the guy just… nailed the audition. He could, you know, hold a spoon and smile at the same time. It was revolutionary.”
The commercial, titled “Chobani: For Every Dudeski on the Go,” features the unnamed actor (rumored to be a plumber named Steve) racing through his morning routine, effortlessly juggling work, fatherhood, and a healthy dose of yogurt.
“We wanted to capture the essence of the modern man,” explained Fitzwilliam, lighting a cigar that somehow stayed lit despite the strong winds buffeting the press conference tent. “A man who can, you know, change a tire and appreciate a good protein source all before 8 am. It’s a dying breed, these guys.”
Critics, however, were quick to denounce the decision. “This is a blatant regression!” fumed Yolanda Activism, a prominent social media influencer with a verified avocado emoji. “Where’s the representation? Where’s the nuance? Where’s the non-binary, gluten-free, free-range yogurt connoisseur we deserve?”
Fitzwilliam, however, remained unfazed. “Look, I understand the concerns,” he said, taking a long drag on his cigar. “But sometimes, a yogurt commercial is just a yogurt commercial. Sometimes, a guy just needs to eat his damn yogurt and get on with his day.”
The commercial is set to air during the next Super Bowl, sparking outrage and intrigue in equal measure. One thing’s for sure: the world is watching to see if Steve, the yogurt-eating everyman, can survive the onslaught of social media scorn. Or will he crumble under the pressure, much like a cheaply-made yogurt cup? Only time will tell.
Straight White Guy’s Yogurt Ad Shocker Straight White Guy’s Yogurt Ad Shocker
Director Defies All Rules And Casts A Straight, White, Male For His Next Commercial. Director Defies All Rules And Casts A Straight, White, Male For His Next Commercial
