From orbit to order: Astronauts’ next mission: Chili’s.
Content Provided By POTD Aerospace Correspondent
OUTER SPACE, EARTH – Boeing to compensate stranded astronauts with $25 meal voucher to Chili’s. In a heartwarming gesture of corporate goodwill, Boeing announced today that it will compensate astronauts stranded aboard the International Space Station (ISS) due to continued delays with its Starliner spacecraft by offering each astronaut a $25 meal voucher to Chili’s.
“At Boeing, we understand that space can be hard, and so can being stuck in it for extended periods of time,” said Karen Mulvaney, Boeing’s Senior Vice President of Public Relations, during a press conference. “That’s why we’re committed to ensuring our astronauts feel valued with a meal they can look forward to… once they’re back on Earth, of course.”
The voucher, which is valid at any Chili’s location nationwide, is seen as a generous offering by some in the space community, though a few astronauts marooned on the ISS for the better part of a year were less enthused.
“Look, I’ve spent 253 days floating in a tin can, eating freeze-dried spaghetti, and drinking recycled sweat,” said NASA astronaut Butch Wilmore via a glitchy video feed. “Do they really think I’m going to step off this capsule after re-entry and be like, ‘You know what? Chili’s Baby Back Ribs would hit the spot right now’? Where’s my steak dinner?”
Wilmore, along with fellow crew member Suni Williams, were initially slated to return home months ago. However, repeated software glitches, thruster issues, and what Boeing refers to as “minor inconveniences involving a few missing bolts” delayed their return. While stuck in orbit, the astronauts have received regular updates on the Starliner’s progress, including the reassuring words, “We’re working on it.”
“Honestly, the voucher is more than we were expecting,” said Williams, shrugging inside her zero-gravity suit. “At this point, we were prepared for a fruit basket, or maybe a coupon for 10% off a Tesla. But $25 at Chili’s? That’s almost enough for an appetizer AND a soda.”
In an internal memo leaked to the press, Boeing CEO David Calhoun emphasized the company’s “commitment to customer service,” noting that the meal voucher is only part of a broader compensation package that could include other perks, such as “priority boarding on future Boeing flights” and a complimentary Boeing-branded pen.
The company has faced mounting criticism over the repeated Starliner delays, with some pointing out that SpaceX’s Crew Dragon has successfully completed numerous manned missions while Starliner astronauts remain in orbit, waiting for a ride home. Boeing defended its approach, stating that “great things take time” and that “the extra $25 will be more than enough to cover any minor inconveniences.”
When asked why the company chose Chili’s specifically, Mulvaney was quick to explain: “Chili’s is an American institution known for comfort food that really hits the spot after spending almost a year in space. Nothing says ‘Welcome home’ like a molten chocolate cake and a margarita the size of a small planet.”
NASA, while acknowledging the delays, is reportedly working with Boeing to ensure the astronauts eventually get home safely, though they admitted the prospect of affordable, chain-restaurant cuisine might not fully ease tensions. “I’d like to think we’re sending our best and brightest into space,” said NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, “but if all it takes is a $25 voucher to keep them happy, I guess we could have saved a lot of money on training.”
Despite the skepticism from some quarters, not everyone is displeased. Space enthusiast and self-described “Chili’s fanatic” Mitch Flanders was over the moon (figuratively) about the announcement. “Those astronauts don’t know how lucky they are,” Flanders said, polishing his collection of commemorative Chili’s margarita glasses. “I’d strap myself to the next Starliner mission just for a chance at one of those sizzling fajita platters.”
Meanwhile, Chili’s released a statement expressing pride at being part of the space saga: “We’re honored to help Boeing bring America’s space heroes back down to Earth with the bold flavors they’ve been missing.”
As Wilmore and his crew brace for yet another month in space, one thing is clear: when they finally touch down, there’s a table waiting for them at Chili’s—and possibly a free refill on their fountain drink.
“We just hope the landing is smoother than the service,” Wilmore added, half-joking as his connection cut out.
From orbit to order: Astronauts’ next mission: Chili’s. From orbit to order: Astronauts’ next mission: Chili’s.
