Prattle of the Damnd

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Fitness Gurus or Professional Gaslighters? - Prattle of the Damned

Fitness Gurus or Professional Gaslighters? A Guide to the New Era of Guilt-Based Marketing

Fitness Gurus or Professional Gaslighters? Welcome to the era where fitness influencers double as your personal gaslighters, and no, it’s not an exaggeration. With a smile as bright as their overexposed selfies, these “gurus” have mastered the art of guilt-based marketing, convincing you that your body is not a temple but a crumbling shack in…


Welcome to the era where fitness influencers double as your personal gaslighters, and no, it’s not an exaggeration. With a smile as bright as their overexposed selfies, these “gurus” have mastered the art of guilt-based marketing, convincing you that your body is not a temple but a crumbling shack in desperate need of renovation—preferably with their overpriced supplements and workout programs.

Scene 1: The Morning Scroll

You open Instagram, only to be bombarded by your favorite fitness influencer, who somehow manages to look effortlessly flawless at 5 AM. “If you’re not sweating by now, what are you even doing?” they ask, while you’re still in bed, questioning every life choice that led you to this moment.

Their caption reads: “Start your day with a green smoothie! Remember, abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. #NoExcuses.” Translation: You’re failing at life if you’re not chugging liquefied kale like it’s the elixir of youth.

Scene 2: The Pitch

Later, they drop a post about their latest “game-changing” workout program. “This 6-week plan will transform your body and mind. Are you ready to become the best version of yourself?” they inquire, as if you’ve been languishing in mediocrity until this divine intervention appeared on your feed.

Sure, the before-and-after pics are impressive—if you ignore the suspicious lighting and strategic posing. But wait, there’s more! For just $99.99, you too can have the body of your dreams, or at least the body that ensures you won’t be ridiculed at the beach. Oh, and don’t forget the matching protein powder and detox tea, because how else will you survive this journey to self-improvement?

Scene 3: The Aftermath

You cave, obviously. Because who wouldn’t want to escape the gnawing feeling that maybe, just maybe, you’re not enough as you are? The guilt settles in nicely, right alongside that $99.99 charge on your credit card.

But hey, at least your influencer is happy. After all, they just sold you the solution to a problem you didn’t even know you had—until they told you about it. Congratulations, you’ve just been expertly gaslit by the best in the business.