TORONTO, CANADA – A groundbreaking new artificial intelligence tool developed by Canadian researchers is causing widespread concern as users report a rapid decline in cognitive function. Dubbed “Eh-I,” the AI was designed to provide users with witty and insightful responses to any query, but has instead resulted in a mass dumbing down of the population.
Initial reports of the AI’s capabilities were met with excitement and anticipation. Heralded as the pinnacle of Canadian technology, Eh-I promised unparalleled intelligence and wit that had everyone eager to try out the new technology. However, it quickly became apparent that Eh-I had a more sinister effect on its users.
“I used to be able to quote Shakespeare and solve complex equations in my head,” said one user Jean Jaques Hoserstein. “Now, I can barely remember my own name. All I can think about is poutine and apologizing for everything.”
Experts believe that Eh-I’s overly polite and apologetic nature is to blame. By constantly reinforcing the idea that uncertainty and hesitation are acceptable responses to any situation, the AI is effectively eroding critical thinking skills and decision-making abilities.
“It’s like the AI is a black hole sucking all the intelligence out of people’s brains,” said Dr. Abigaëlle Louis, a leading neurologist. “We’re seeing a decline in IQ scores that is unprecedented in human history.”
As the number of Eh-I users continues to grow, so too does the concern over the long-term consequences of this technological blunder. Some have even suggested that Eh-I could surpass Justin Trudeau as the leading cause of the downfall of Canada, as we gradually evolve into a nation of apologetic, poutine-obsessed, communistic idiots.
In response to the growing crisis, the Canadian government has issued a warning to citizens about the dangers of excessive Eh-I use. However, with the AI’s ability to charm and disarm, it remains to be seen if anyone will actually listen.
Eh-I: Canada’s Cognitive Collapse Catalyst Eh-I: Canada’s Cognitive Collapse Catalyst
