LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL – In a move that economists are calling “the most American thing ever,” a Florida couple, Gary and Mildred Snodgrass, have requested loan forgiveness from the Biden administration to cover the crippling debt they accrued financing their recent Disney World vacation.
“Mickey’s Magical Mortgage,” as the Snodgrasses have affectionately nicknamed their loan, currently sits at a cool $42,000, secured against their modest single-wide trailer and Gary’s prized collection of porcelain clowns.
“Look, we understand college is important,” Gary, a part-time fry cook, said while adjusting his Mickey Mouse ears. “But little Timmy here only has one childhood, and what kind of childhood is it without experiencing the unadulterated joy of a $15 hot dog?”
Mildred, still sporting a sparkly Minnie Mouse headband, chimed in, “Besides, Timmy aced his spelling test last week. That practically screams ‘Harvard material,’ if you ask me. We practically saved the government money in the long run!”
The Snodgrasses’ request has sparked outrage across the political spectrum. Bernie Sanders tweeted, “This is exactly why we need FREE Disney vacations for ALL Americans!” in response to a photo of Timmy covered in cotton candy. Meanwhile, Republicans called the move “socialist pandering” and suggested bootstrapping solutions like selling a few porcelain clowns.
In a surprising turn of events, President Biden himself weighed in on the matter. “Look, folks, I understand the Snodgrasses’ plight,” Biden said, adjusting his aviator sunglasses. “Heck, I remember standing in line for Space Mountain for eight hours back in the day. It builds character! But let’s not forget, I campaigned on loan forgiveness for, you know, uhmm, well, anyways…”
The Snodgrasses remain optimistic. Gary shared his plans to launch a GoFundMe campaign titled “Help Timmy See Cinderella’s Castle (Again),” while Mildred revealed she’s been fielding interview requests from reality TV shows about “extreme debt.”
Only time will tell if the Snodgrasses will find financial relief, but one thing’s for sure: the magic of Disney is a American right that shall not be infringed, even if that means working for many additional years to participate in it.
Disney Debt Dreamers Seek Bailout Disney Debt Dreamers Seek Bailout
