national
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Harley Davidson Riders Somehow Find One More Way to Be Annoying
STURGIS – SD – In a development that has left neighbors, pedestrians, and even fellow motorcyclists rolling their…
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Occupy Wall Street’s Last Holdout Evicted by Reality After Realizing No One Was Watching
NEW YORK, NY – In a development as predictable as a banker’s bonus, Occupy Wall Street’s last remaining…
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Millennials: Masters of Budgeting (or Not)
Salt Lake City, UT – Millennials, those intrepid explorers of avocado toast and overpriced apartments, have once again…
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C-Suite Shocker: Executives Spotted at Desks Five Days Straight, Country Club In Shambles
PALM BEACH, FL – In a development sending ripples through the world of corporate excess, the executive management…
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Cybertruck: The New Raccoon Gold Rush
Palo Alto, CA – Tesla’s Cybertruck: a monument to angularity or a cosmic dumpster? The jury’s still out…
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Boy Who Was Forced to Eat His Vegetables Found Dead at Age 6
PAHRUMP – NV. In a tragic yet oddly predictable turn of events, young Timothy Greensprout, a six-year-old boy…
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Hamburglar’s Criminal History Discovered to Have Started After Being Jailed by Kamala Harris for Being in Possession of 1 Joint.
CHICAGO – IL. In a shocking revelation that has stunned both the fast-food and legal communities, newly uncovered…
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Hard Seltzers Provide Rapid Gender Transition From Male to Female.
ORLANDO, FL – In a development that’s sure to send shockwaves through the beverage and gender identity communities…
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Project 2025 Details Revealed: It Turns Out That Trumps Plans Revolve Entirely Around Pissing Off Some Guy in Salt Lake City Named Bob
Salt Lake City, UT – In an exclusive exposé that has stunned political analysts and ordinary citizens alike,…
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After Going into Debt for Disney Vacation, Parents Ask Biden for Loan Forgiveness
LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL – In a move that economists are calling “the most American thing ever,” a…
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U.C. Berkeley’s Latest Discovery Only Compounds The Problem Of Toxic Vaginas On Campus
BERKELEY, CA – As if navigating the treacherous waters of campus hookup culture wasn’t already nightmarish enough, a…
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U.S. Unveils Project Studmuffin: Genetically Engineered Super Males Fail to Impress Modern Females.
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a desperate attempt to reverse a declining birth rate, the U.S. government unveiled Project…