national
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Parents Thrilled with Back-to-School Season: Another Excuse to Be Late to Work.
SCHENECTADY, NY – As the lazy days of summer wind down and the crisp scent of freshly sharpened…
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Pit Bull Owner Insists They Are the Kindest Breed, Despite Only Having Half His Face Left
CLEARWATER, FL – In a heartwarming display of loyalty and resilience, local man Harold “Half-Face” Jenkins continues to…
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Parents Indicted on Heinous Charge: Gifting Teen Son Car Without Heated Seats
KENNEBUNKPORT, ME – In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of outrage through the nation,…
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To Counter RNC’s Promotion by Hulk Hogan, DNC Promises to Exhibit President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
CHICAGO, IL – In an unprecedented move to outshine their Republican counterparts, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) has…
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Studies Show Surprising Number of Women Searching LoveAPrisoner.com Have Severe Mental Issues
LEAVENWORTH, KS – In a groundbreaking study that will surely spark debates among relationship experts and armchair psychologists alike,…
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Gen Z Comes to Shocking Realization That the Toxic, Traumatic, and Abusive World They Live In Is Just Normal Everyday Life
National – In a stunning revelation that has rocked the foundations of social media and therapy circles alike,…
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Harley Davidson Riders Somehow Find One More Way to Be Annoying
STURGIS – SD – In a development that has left neighbors, pedestrians, and even fellow motorcyclists rolling their…
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Occupy Wall Street’s Last Holdout Evicted by Reality After Realizing No One Was Watching
NEW YORK, NY – In a development as predictable as a banker’s bonus, Occupy Wall Street’s last remaining…
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Millennials: Masters of Budgeting (or Not)
Salt Lake City, UT – Millennials, those intrepid explorers of avocado toast and overpriced apartments, have once again…
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C-Suite Shocker: Executives Spotted at Desks Five Days Straight, Country Club In Shambles
PALM BEACH, FL – In a development sending ripples through the world of corporate excess, the executive management…
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Cybertruck: The New Raccoon Gold Rush
Palo Alto, CA – Tesla’s Cybertruck: a monument to angularity or a cosmic dumpster? The jury’s still out…
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Boy Who Was Forced to Eat His Vegetables Found Dead at Age 6
PAHRUMP – NV. In a tragic yet oddly predictable turn of events, young Timothy Greensprout, a six-year-old boy…