national
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Starbucks Preparing to Roll Out Disgusting Fall Flavors
SEATTLE, WA – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the coffee-loving community, Starbucks has announced its…
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Jabronis Protest Olive Garden for Not Making Bolognese Like Nonna Did
In what can only be described as the most passionate protest since the Great Spaghetti Uprising of ’95,…
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Bowling Alley Hires Troll to Retrieve Stuck Bowling Balls
In a move that has shocked and bemused the local community, Lucky Strike Bowling Alley has announced the…
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DEI Hire at Nuclear Power Plant Ends in Chernobyl-Level Meltdown
THREE MILE ISLAND, PA — A small town in rural Pennsylvania is suffering from what local officials are…
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Public Service Announcement for Millennials and Gen Z’ers: Gran Turismo 7 Is Not Actually a Substitution for Driver’s Education
From GT7 to DMV: A Reality Check EVERYWHERE, USA — As the world watches the age-old conflict between…
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Demure Diva: How Jools Lebron Wants You to Swap Your Boldness for Blandness at Work
Jools Lebron’s Demure Makeup Dictates CHICAGO, IL – In the dazzling world of TikTok, where dance challenges and…
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Back to School Season Celebrated by Cheaters Nationwide Who Get Their 7:30 AM to 3:45 PM Adultery Timeslots Back
U.S.A. – As the crisp autumn air fills the streets and the scent of freshly sharpened pencils permeates…
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Creative Geniuses at Disney Are Finding New Ways to Milk Robert Downey Jr for All He’s Worth
Burbank, CA – In a groundbreaking move that has shocked both industry analysts and casual moviegoers alike, Disney…
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Las Vegas Now Accepting Bets on What War We’re Heading Into: Civil War 2, Revolutionary War 2, or World War 3
LAS VEGAS, NV — In an unprecedented move that has stunned both the gambling and political worlds, the…
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Embarrassed by Olympic Losses in Shooting Events, Team USA to Recruit Alec Baldwin
PARIS, FRANCE – In a desperate bid to reclaim its former glory in Olympic shooting competitions, the United…
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Worlds Biggest Prepper Already Has Bunker Built for Y3K
APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS, USA – In a shocking display of foresight that has left even the most seasoned meteorologists…
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Janet Yellen Allegedly Surfing CreditKarma.com In Search of Someone to Give the USA a Debt Consolidation Loan for $35 Trillion
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a shocking twist to the ongoing fiscal crisis, sources close to the Department of…