national
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Women’s Intuition Proven to Be a Myth After Shocking Number of Single Moms Reported on US Census
In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through living rooms and coffee shops nationwide, the United States…
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Nvidia Changes Name to Cyberdyne Systems to Formalize the Process of Ending Humanity
In a bold move that analysts are calling “refreshingly transparent,” Nvidia, the world leader in AI technology and…
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Incels from MIT Develop New Robotic Sex Doll, Resulting in Accidental Penis Detachments
In a startling development that no one could have seen coming (except literally everyone), a group of incels…
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Wineries Hold Day Drinking Classes to Benefit Moms Whose Kids Are Now Back in School
In a groundbreaking initiative that has moms everywhere raising their glasses, local wineries have started offering day drinking…
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Laziest Man in the Office Can’t Wait to Celebrate Labor Day by Doing the Same Thing He Always Does, Nothing
LAFAYETTE, LA – In a groundbreaking display of human inefficiency, local office drone, Kevin “The Couch Potato” McAllister,…
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Teenager Accuses Her Car of Gaslighting Her After Low Fuel Light Comes On
In a dramatic confrontation that left witnesses both perplexed and concerned, local teenager Emily Thompson, 17, publicly accused…
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Radical New Surgery Allows Boomers to Drive Around with Their Mouths Closed
In what experts are calling a “miracle of modern medicine,” a revolutionary new surgery has been developed that…
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Walk of Shame Now Considered Badge of Honor, as More Women Embrace Being Enormous Whores
In a radical cultural shift that has fashionistas scrambling to adjust their wardrobes and therapists rethinking years of…
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Boomers Prove How Active and Spry They Still Are by Rushing to the Front of Every Line Before Becoming Confused and Holding Everyone Else Up
In a stunning display of vitality and agility, Baby Boomers across the nation are proving that they’ve still…
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Mobile Abortion Clinic Showcased at DNC Is Actually Just Jack Kevorkian’s Van
In what has been hailed as a bold and innovative move by some and a jaw-dropping oversight by…
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Social Security Administration Proves to Be as Inept at Guarding Your Personal Information as They Are at Managing Money
In a move that shocked precisely no one, the Social Security Administration (SSA) has once again demonstrated its…
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Teenaged KFC Employee Was Trained by the Military to See in Night Vision
In a shocking revelation that has left the fast-food industry reeling, a local KFC employee has come forward…