national
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Radical New Surgery Allows Boomers to Drive Around with Their Mouths Closed
In what experts are calling a “miracle of modern medicine,” a revolutionary new surgery has been developed that…
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Walk of Shame Now Considered Badge of Honor, as More Women Embrace Being Enormous Whores
In a radical cultural shift that has fashionistas scrambling to adjust their wardrobes and therapists rethinking years of…
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Boomers Prove How Active and Spry They Still Are by Rushing to the Front of Every Line Before Becoming Confused and Holding Everyone Else Up
In a stunning display of vitality and agility, Baby Boomers across the nation are proving that they’ve still…
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Mobile Abortion Clinic Showcased at DNC Is Actually Just Jack Kevorkian’s Van
In what has been hailed as a bold and innovative move by some and a jaw-dropping oversight by…
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Social Security Administration Proves to Be as Inept at Guarding Your Personal Information as They Are at Managing Money
In a move that shocked precisely no one, the Social Security Administration (SSA) has once again demonstrated its…
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Teenaged KFC Employee Was Trained by the Military to See in Night Vision
In a shocking revelation that has left the fast-food industry reeling, a local KFC employee has come forward…
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Starbucks Preparing to Roll Out Disgusting Fall Flavors
SEATTLE, WA – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the coffee-loving community, Starbucks has announced its…
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Jabronis Protest Olive Garden for Not Making Bolognese Like Nonna Did
In what can only be described as the most passionate protest since the Great Spaghetti Uprising of ’95,…
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Bowling Alley Hires Troll to Retrieve Stuck Bowling Balls
In a move that has shocked and bemused the local community, Lucky Strike Bowling Alley has announced the…
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DEI Hire at Nuclear Power Plant Ends in Chernobyl-Level Meltdown
THREE MILE ISLAND, PA — A small town in rural Pennsylvania is suffering from what local officials are…
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Public Service Announcement for Millennials and Gen Z’ers: Gran Turismo 7 Is Not Actually a Substitution for Driver’s Education
From GT7 to DMV: A Reality Check EVERYWHERE, USA — As the world watches the age-old conflict between…
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Demure Diva: How Jools Lebron Wants You to Swap Your Boldness for Blandness at Work
Jools Lebron’s Demure Makeup Dictates CHICAGO, IL – In the dazzling world of TikTok, where dance challenges and…