national
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Texans Left Reeling After Realization That The State They Are So Proud Of, Is Just Northern Mexico
Austin, TX – In a shocking turn of events that has left cowboy hats askew and boots stomping…
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Commander in Grief: Exiled President Blames “Radical Greenies” for Adult Diaper Debacle
1 WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning display of poetic justice, disgraced President Joe “Big Shart” Biden has…
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Step aside Scientology, New Religion “Crystal Methodist” Sweeps Over California as Junkies Exploit Laws to Get High(er) Deductibles
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that surprises literally no one, Californians have embraced a brand new…
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From Chump to Champ: Magic 8 Ball and Narcissism Propel Doug “The Oracle” Douchington to Billionaire Status
2 SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a story that rewrites the American Dream script, Doug “The Oracle” Douchington,…
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Bonnet Brawl: Amish and Quakers Clash in Butter Churn Uprising
0 LANCASTER, PA – Tensions in Lancaster County boiled over this week as a seemingly innocuous bake sale…
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Bro’s at Gym Discover That There Are More Podcasts in Existence Besides The Joe Rogan Experience (Scientists Baffled).
SAN DIEGO, CA – In a groundbreaking discovery that has left scientists scratching their heads, a group of…
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Frat House Mystery: “Bro-Tail” Cocktail Ends in Night of Regret, Not Regret-Free Debauchery.
1 BOULDER, CO – In a development that would shock literally no one familiar with the decision-making skills…
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Columbia’s Finest Choose Bundy: Is Inner Darkness the New Abercrombie & Fitch?
NEW YORK, NY – In a move that would make Freud spin in his grave (faster than usual),…
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“Wait, You Mean The World Doesn’t Revolve Around My AARP Discounts Anymore?” – Baby Boomers Blindsided by Shocking News: Life Goes On
BOCA RATON, FL – In a development as earth-shattering as the invention of leisure suits, a generation of…