national
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OnlyFans Stars Breathe Sigh of Relief: “Single Mom Backup Plan Still Intact”
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that surprised absolutely no one familiar with the human condition, OnlyFans…
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Aliens Stop Probing Americans After Coming to Conclusion Our Asses Are Too Fat
1 WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, a leaked intergalactic memo reveals extraterrestrial researchers have…
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Ticketmaster Holds Focus Group to Gauge Public’s Breathtaking Stupidity
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that could only be described as “audacious” or perhaps “a test…
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Local Woman Achieves Comedy Nirvana: Somehow Makes Audience Laugh Without Mentioning Her Vagina
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a development that has left scientists baffled and male comedians clutching their metaphorical…
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Teenager Makes Shocking Discovery: Turns Out That Salvation Army Finds Don’t Actually Grant Wishes
BOISE, ID – In a development that should surprise exactly no one who has ever stepped foot inside…
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Bogeyman Relocates from Under Bed After Finding Adult Magazines
DENVER, CO – In a shocking turn of events, the local Bogeyman, who has resided under 13-year-old Timmy…
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Texans Left Reeling After Realization That The State They Are So Proud Of, Is Just Northern Mexico
Austin, TX – In a shocking turn of events that has left cowboy hats askew and boots stomping…
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Commander in Grief: Exiled President Blames “Radical Greenies” for Adult Diaper Debacle
1 WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning display of poetic justice, disgraced President Joe “Big Shart” Biden has…
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Step aside Scientology, New Religion “Crystal Methodist” Sweeps Over California as Junkies Exploit Laws to Get High(er) Deductibles
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that surprises literally no one, Californians have embraced a brand new…
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From Chump to Champ: Magic 8 Ball and Narcissism Propel Doug “The Oracle” Douchington to Billionaire Status
2 SILICON VALLEY, CA – In a story that rewrites the American Dream script, Doug “The Oracle” Douchington,…
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Bonnet Brawl: Amish and Quakers Clash in Butter Churn Uprising
0 LANCASTER, PA – Tensions in Lancaster County boiled over this week as a seemingly innocuous bake sale…
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Bro’s at Gym Discover That There Are More Podcasts in Existence Besides The Joe Rogan Experience (Scientists Baffled).
SAN DIEGO, CA – In a groundbreaking discovery that has left scientists scratching their heads, a group of…