national
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Financial Guru Shocks World With Revolutionary New Concept: Don’t Buy Shit You Can’t Afford
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a groundbreaking move that has sent shockwaves through the get-rich-quick self-help industry, financial…
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MILF Dream Turns Moldy: Man Shocked to Discover Experienced Lady Friend, Actually Ages
DENVER, CO – In a cautionary tale for the internet-addled masses, local man Brad Chadlington (32) is grappling…
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Shocking Discovery: Government Spends Millions to Confirm What Everyone Knew – Summer is a Balls-Roasting Bonanza
MIAMI, FL – In a scientific triumph that would make Captain Obvious himself do a spit-take, a multi-million…
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Silicon Valley in Shambles as Woman Chooses Meaningful Work Over Exploiting Thirst Traps
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a development sending shockwaves through the tech brosphere, a prominent OnlyFans model has…
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Swipe Left for Solvency: Man Makes Rookie Dating Mistake, Accidentally Orders Appetizer, Now Financially Responsible for Woman’s Entire Life
SEATTLE, WA – In a cautionary tale for the romantically naive, a local man is experiencing the harsh…
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World Reeling After Woman’s Panties Bunch Up During Black Friday Melee: “This is Unprecedented,” Says Underwear Industry
BENTONVILLE, AR – In a shocking turn of events that has left the scientific community baffled, a woman…
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Nerd Learns the Hard Way: Button Mushrooms Don’t Actually Unlock the Multiverse
SCRANTON, PA – In a humiliating turn of events for the local science club president, Harold Fitzwilliam, 15,…
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Houston Taco Cart on Edge After Yelp Review Raises Explosive Concerns
HOUSTON, TX – A local taco cart slinging barbacoa and carnitas is under FBI investigation after a glowing…
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Wyoming High School Graduate Devastated After Discovering Laying Pipe Isn’t What His Buddies Made It Out To Be.
CHEYENNE, WY – In a tragic display of shattered dreams and misplaced bravado, local high school graduate Rusty…
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Boomer Devastated to Learn That He Can No Longer Lean on Work He Did for the Company Back in 1994
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a shocking turn of events, 58-year-old marketing manager, Roger Thompson, was left emotionally…
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Man Shocked to Find That He’s No More Special Than Anyone Else: Reports Indicate Decades-Long Delusion
SAN DIEGO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, local man Harold Fitzwilliam (42) expressed profound shock…
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Pentagon Unveils Redneck Force: Because Freedom Ain’t Free, But It Should Come With a Yeehaw
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that surprised literally no one, the Pentagon yesterday announced the formation of…