national
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Garbage Pail Kids’ eerie foresight
Common toys of childhood psychopaths found to hold mystic powers.
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Dysentery deserves better resolution
Dysentery makes a comeback, as Gen X activists cry for an ultra-high def gaming classic, “The Oregon Trail”.
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Lesbians Say: ‘Told You So’
Subaru’s reliability allows lesbians to traverse any snail trial, lickidy split.
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Freak Off Goes Supernova
Diddy’s oil-less freak off provides enough friction to sustain nuclear fusion.
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Chumming: Kanye’s new outreach.
Kanye West Dismisses Penny Throwing Incident as “Chumming for Jews”.
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Denny’s hosts the ultimate Boomer showdown!
Boomers Meet At Dennys to Brag About Yet Another Thing That Nobody Gives A Shit About…
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From threats to vibes: AI stoned
SILICON VALLEY, CA—Programmers Furiously Work to Create Digital Cannabis in Hopes of Getting Google Gemini to Calm the…
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Snowflakes Go Literal for $150K
Brooklyn, NY – Americans Can Now Cryo-Freeze Themselves to Skip Trump’s Next Term. In a move straight out…
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8-bit chaos-Netflix style
ARLINGTON, TX — Netflix Pays Homage to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! by Streaming Fight in 8-Bit Format. In a…
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Round 1: Who’s Jake Paul?
LAS VEGAS, NV — Jake Paul Preemptively Buys Wheelchair and Ventilator in Preparation for Tonight’s Fight Against Mike…
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Goldberg’s Working-Class Complex
STUDIO 23 – NEW YORK CITY – In what experts are calling the latest twist in the View…
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The Beyoncé of beverages lands
Brooklyn, NY – Hipster Bartender Invents Gayest Drink Ever: The Pumpkin Spice Martini. In a groundbreaking move that…