local
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Utah Drivers Accidentally Time Travel After Hitting 88.8 MPH
PAYSON, UT – In a bizarre incident that has left local authorities baffled and conspiracy theorists ecstatic, thousands…
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Millennials: Masters of Budgeting (or Not)
Salt Lake City, UT – Millennials, those intrepid explorers of avocado toast and overpriced apartments, have once again…
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Fizzy Frenzy: Free Sugar Rush Creates Gridlock in Orem
Orem, UT – residents were treated to a scene more reminiscent of a Black Friday sale gone wrong…
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Celestial Bonfire or Chafing Mishap? Man Combusts After Particularly Zealous Masturbation Session
OREM, UT – In a fiery incident that has left religious scholars scratching their heads and scientists reaching…
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Penny Pinching Gone Too Far: Man Audited by IRS for Alleged “Excessive Penny Collection”
FILLMORE, UT – In a shocking display of fiscal vigilance, the IRS has launched an audit against Harold…
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Local Grindhouse Coffee Shop Folds After Existential Crisis Sparked by Black Coffee Order
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – In a devastating blow to the city’s meticulously crafted air of irony, beloved…
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Local Man Terrorizes City With Radical Dating Technique: Conversation
West Valley, UT – In a disturbing turn of events, a local man has unleashed a terrifying new…
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Mormons are the Biggest Jews
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Attention shoppers! Forget converting to Judaism for financial security, there’s a new sheriff…
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Cardio Cancelled: Mom Battles Inner Glutes While Hunting for the Elusive “Close Parking Spot”
PROVO, UT – In a scene straight out of a fitness paradox, a local mom yesterday defied the…
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“Nihilism: The Ultimate Life Hack for the Existentially Exhausted”
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – “Because Who Needs Hope, Purpose, or a Reason to Get Out of Bed…