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Jimmy Buffett Album Sales Expected to Plummet to 0 After Final Alcoholic Boomer Dies
The music world is bracing for an unprecedented cultural collapse as experts predict that Jimmy Buffett’s album sales,…
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Boomers Prove How Active and Spry They Still Are by Rushing to the Front of Every Line Before Becoming Confused and Holding Everyone Else Up
In a stunning display of vitality and agility, Baby Boomers across the nation are proving that they’ve still…
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Mobile Abortion Clinic Showcased at DNC Is Actually Just Jack Kevorkian’s Van
In what has been hailed as a bold and innovative move by some and a jaw-dropping oversight by…
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Social Security Administration Proves to Be as Inept at Guarding Your Personal Information as They Are at Managing Money
In a move that shocked precisely no one, the Social Security Administration (SSA) has once again demonstrated its…
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Teenaged KFC Employee Was Trained by the Military to See in Night Vision
In a shocking revelation that has left the fast-food industry reeling, a local KFC employee has come forward…
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Creative Geniuses at Disney Are Finding New Ways to Milk Robert Downey Jr for All He’s Worth
Burbank, CA – In a groundbreaking move that has shocked both industry analysts and casual moviegoers alike, Disney…