global
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Lunar strip show? Not quite
LUNAR ORBIT — Internet Perverts Turn to Astronomy in Hopes of Unfiltered, Unedited Glimpse of the Beaver Moon.…
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From orbit to order: Astronauts’ next mission: Chili’s.
OUTER SPACE, EARTH – Boeing to compensate stranded astronauts with $25 meal voucher to Chili’s. In a heartwarming…
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Moochers Force Handyman’s Great Escape
TOLEDO OH. & URUGUAY – Handyman changes identity, starts new life in foreign country to avoid moochers. After…
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Prattle Of The Damned Somehow More Truthful Than The Atlantic
PLANET EARTH – In a development that has left journalists scratching their heads and fact-checkers reaching for a…
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World Shocked to See That Cuba’s Electrical Infrastructure from the 1950s Is Not Robust or Reliable
HAVANA – CUBA In a revelation that has left energy experts across the globe dumbfounded, reports from Cuba…
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To Improve Morale at Sweatshops, Apple Throws Employees a Pizza Party
In an unprecedented move to boost morale among its overseas workforce, Apple has announced plans to host a…
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Iranians Consider Taking a Break from Camel Fucking to Invade Israel
In a shocking yet somehow predictable turn of events, Iranians are considering pausing their national pastime of camel…
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To Contain The Spread Of Monkey Pox, WHO Advises Avoiding Contact with Mammals That Have Oozing Blisters and Sores
WHO’s Grossly Obvious Warning GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world scratching its…
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People Becoming Dumber After Using New Canadian Artificial Intelligence Tool, Dubbed Eh-I
TORONTO, CANADA – A groundbreaking new artificial intelligence tool developed by Canadian researchers is causing widespread concern as…
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Embarrassed by Olympic Losses in Shooting Events, Team USA to Recruit Alec Baldwin
PARIS, FRANCE – In a desperate bid to reclaim its former glory in Olympic shooting competitions, the United…
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American Tourists Shocked to Discover That Scuba Tours Ran Out of Dilapidated Shack in Mexico Are Unsafe
Cancún, Mexico – In a shocking turn of events that has left the entire nation of America reeling,…
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Satan Prepares for Boomer Invasion: Hell’s Gate Gets an Upgrade
HELL – In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through the underworld, Satan has announced plans to…