ST. LOUIS, MO – Brace yourselves, parents! As marijuana legalization sweeps across the nation, the beloved Build-A-Bear Workshop is undergoing a dramatic transformation. That’s right, get ready to ditch the stuffing and say hello to “Build-A-Bong,” a revolutionary new retail experience for the discerning cannabis connoisseur (age 21+, of course).
“We saw a gap in the market,” explained CEO Barry Blunt (no relation). “Kids have had their cuddly companions for years. Now, it’s time adults get to create their perfect smoking partners.”
Build-A-Bong offers a wide selection of customizable glass bongs, from classic beaker styles to whimsical cartoon shapes (think Snoop Dogg with a permanent grin). Customers can personalize their piece with a dazzling array of accessories, like glittery mouthpieces, glow-in-the-dark ice catchers, and tiny hats for the bowls (because safety first, folks!).
“It’s like pottery class, but way more chill,” enthused early adopter, Mildred Dankworth. “I spent an hour crafting the perfect ‘Namaste Nachos’ bong, complete with a sombrero bowl for that authentic fiesta feel.”
But Build-A-Bong isn’t just about aesthetics. Trained “Bongsmiths” are on hand to guide customers through the intricate process of water filtration selection, carb hole placement, and the all-important “rip test” (conducted with a safe, non-psychoactive herbal substitute, naturally).
Of course, some critics are voicing concerns. “Isn’t this a little too close to Build-A-Bear for comfort?” fretted PTA spokesperson, Karen Strictington. “What message are we sending to our children?”
Relax, Karen. Build-A-Bong stores are strictly 21+ and located in separate, “herb-friendly” sections of malls. Besides, let’s be honest, teenagers were probably using those teddy bears for “alternative purposes” anyway.
So, the next time you’re at the mall, skip the Cinnabon and head over to Build-A-Bong. It’s the perfect place to unwind, unleash your inner glassblower, and create a bong that’s as unique as you are (and maybe a little bit higher).
With More States Legalizing Marijuana, Build a Bear Stores Being Converted to Build a Bong Stores in Malls Nationwide
With More States Legalizing Marijuana, Build a Bear Stores Being Converted to Build a Bong Stores in Malls Nationwide
