SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a shocking turn of events, 58-year-old marketing manager, Roger Thompson, was left emotionally distraught after learning his single PowerPoint presentation from 1994 titled “Synergy: A Buzzword for the Future” would no longer be considered “cutting-edge.”
“I don’t understand,” Thompson whimpered, clutching a printout of the presentation adorned with clip art of fax machines and handshake emojis. “I poured my heart and soul into those Comic Sans arrows. Back then, everyone was raving about it!” Thompson went on to lament “I knocked it out of the park with this PowerPoint. The least the company could do is continue to pay me a six figure salary for three decades to show their appreciation for my skillset”.
Sources report Thompson spent a significant portion of his career reminding colleagues of his “pivotal role” in developing the company’s internet presence, which consisted of a single, text-heavy webpage featuring a pixelated company logo.
“They wouldn’t even be here without me,” Thompson lamented, gesturing dramatically at the sleek, open-plan office. “I practically invented the internet for this company. Back when we used dial-up and everyone had to wait their turn!”
Junior marketing associate, Sarah Chen, attempted to explain the concept of technological advancements, but Thompson dismissed her with a scoff.
“Millennials with their avocado toast and fidget spinners wouldn’t know a good presentation if it bit them in the floppy disk,” he grumbled.
In a show of solidarity, Thompson’s colleagues have offered him a participation trophy commemorating his “contributions to the digital age.” However, Thompson remains inconsolable, muttering about the “good old days” when a single, outdated presentation was enough to coast on for a career.
At press time, Thompson was seen dusting off his old pager, convinced it would make a stylish comeback.
Boomer Devastated about 1994 PowerPoint Boomer Devastated about 1994 PowerPoint
