By Damien Blackwood, Eternal Destinations Critic January 12, 2026
In a development that has left theologians, HR departments, and the IRS collectively speechless, the infernal realm of Hell has surged to a near-perfect 4.7-star rating on TripAdvisor, with thousands of recent arrivals praising it as “way better than the brochure made it sound” and “honestly kind of cozy.”
“Much nicer than expected,” writes verified reviewer EternalDamn8dDave from his brimstone-adjacent lounge chair. “The heat is constant and dry—like Arizona in July, but without the tourists asking for directions to Sedona. 10/10 would roast again.”
The overwhelming consensus among the damned? Hell beats literally every other adult obligation on Earth. Top comments include:
- “Beats going to work. No performance reviews, no Slack messages, no ‘circle back.’ Just eternal flames and zero emails.” ★★★★★
- “Filing taxes? Never again. The paperwork here is handled by professionals who actually enjoy suffering. IRS wishes they had this efficiency.” ★★★★★
- “Healthcare system outperforms the USA’s by a mile. Wait times are nonexistent, coverage is universal, and the co-pay is your soul (already included). No surprise bills, no prior authorizations—just prompt, agonizing care.” ★★★★★
Several reviewers specifically called out the climate as a major upgrade. “I was terrified of the fire and brimstone,” confessed KarenFromAccounting666. “Turns out it’s just pleasantly toasty. I’m finally warm for the first time since 1998. Sweater weather is officially canceled.”
One five-star review summed up the vibe perfectly: “Great value. The eternal torment is consistent, the sulfur aroma is oddly nostalgic, and the Wi-Fi password is still ‘66666666’ so you can doomscroll in peace. Only downside: the gift shop only sells ‘I Survived the First 10,000 Years and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt Made of Skin.’ Still, would recommend over another Monday meeting.”
As the rating continues to climb, tourism boards in Heaven are reportedly sweating (metaphorically), while marketing teams in Purgatory scramble to rebrand as “the chill middle ground.”
Bottom line: If you thought Hell was bad, the reviews are in—and apparently the only thing worse than eternal damnation is another Zoom call or April 15th. Pack light, bring sunscreen, and enjoy the warmth.
