WHO’s Grossly Obvious Warning
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world scratching its head, the World Health Organization (WHO) has issued a stark warning: avoid contact with mammals that have oozing blisters and sores. Experts are baffled as to why this information was deemed necessary.
“We’ve been inundated with calls from people asking if they should pet their dogs with eye infections,” said Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General. “It’s as if common sense has suddenly become an endangered species.” Dr. Adhonam went on to say “listen people, if something looks gross, maybe you shouldn’t touch it”.
The WHO has also faced criticism for the lack of specificity in the advisory. “What constitutes an ‘oozing blister’?” asked one concerned citizen. “Is a slightly red spot enough to warrant a hazmat suit?”
To further clarify the matter, the WHO has released a series of instructional videos demonstrating various levels of blister severity, ranging from a mild inconvenience to a full-blown zombie apocalypse. The videos have been met with mixed reviews, with some viewers praising their educational value and others questioning the organization’s priorities.
Despite the absurdity of the situation, the WHO maintains that the advisory is crucial in preventing the spread of unknown diseases. “Better safe than sorry,” said Dr. Ghebreyesus. “We just want people to be aware of the potential dangers lurking in the animal kingdom. And for the love of God, stop fucking animals.”
WHO’s Grossly Obvious Warning WHO’s Grossly Obvious Warning Despite the absurdity of the situation, the WHO maintains that the advisory is crucial in preventing the spread of unknown diseases. “Better safe than sorry,” said Dr. Ghebreyesus. “We just want people to be aware of the potential dangers lurking in the animal kingdom. And for the love of God, stop fucking animals.”
