WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that surprised literally no one, President Biden, a man who once struggled to operate a vending machine, has reportedly forgotten the nuclear launch codes he himself set. The incident, which sent chills down the spines of aides and international leaders alike, occurred during a routine code change drill.
“It was just a simple 1-2-3-4,” Biden mumbled to reporters, wiping away a bead of sweat with a crumpled napkin. “Like, the combination to my college gym locker back in 1962! But for some reason, my brain just went completely blank again.”
Sources close to the President claim he’s notorious for forgetting even the most basic information. “He once left his toupee in the microwave for a full hour,” one staffer confided anonymously, “and then blamed the intern for ‘sabotaging’ his hair growth serum.”
Thankfully, after a tense 20 minutes of frantic searching through desk drawers and muttering under his breath, Biden managed to locate a Post-It note with the code scrawled on it in what appeared to be crayon.
“Whew, that was a close one,” the President chuckled, completely oblivious to the international incident he’d nearly triggered. “Next time, I’m writing it on my hand.”
Experts say the incident raises serious concerns about the security of our nuclear arsenal. “Putting the fate of the world in the hands of a man who struggles to remember his grocery list is frankly terrifying,” stated Dr. Helga Von Doomsdaystein, a leading nuclear proliferation scholar. “Perhaps we should invest in a system based on facial recognition… or maybe a simple yes or no button.”
Meanwhile, Senate Democrats have proposed a new bill that would require all nuclear launch codes to be accompanied by a catchy jingle for easier memorization. The bill, titled the “Nuklear Kodes: Don’t Be a Doofus Act,” has received mixed reviews.
Biden Forgets Nuclear Launch Code 1234 Biden Forgets Nuclear Launch Code 1234
