Wabasha, MN – Local man, Cletus O’Sullivan, is nursing a decidedly one-sided battle wound after a catfish noodling expedition went south, or should we say, fin-first. O’Sullivan, a seasoned noodler known for his uncanny ability to charm catfish out of their holes with nothing but bravado and an oversized net, met his match this weekend in the murky depths of the Mississippi River.
“Well, I went down to my usual honey hole,” O’Sullivan drawled, sporting a bandage that looked suspiciously like a dish towel wrapped around his shoulder, “reached down there like I always do, felt somethin’ tuggin’ somethin’ fierce. I thought it was Big Betty, that ol’ blue catfish I been chasin’ for years. But nope, turns out this here Catfish Hunter was havin’ none of it.”
Catfish Hunter, as O’Sullivan insists on calling the culprit, is apparently a legendary catfish whispered about in hushed tones by noodlers throughout the region. Rumored to be the size of a small Buick and possessing a temper to match, Catfish Hunter is said to have earned his moniker by ruthlessly schooling other catfish and leaving them quivering wrecks in his wake.
Sheriff Grady Thompson, however, has a different theory on the events that transpired. “Look,” the Sheriff sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Noodling is a dangerous enough activity as it is. But catfish with outlandish nicknames? That’s just embellishment. Mr. O’Sullivan here most likely got tangled up with a particularly feisty catfish and lost his arm in the struggle.”
O’Sullivan, however, remains unconvinced. “Sheriff Grady here wouldn’t know Catfish Hunter if it slapped him in the face with its whisker. That fish put up a fight I ain’t never seen before. Took me net, my dignity, and almost my life!”
While the existence of Catfish Hunter remains unconfirmed, one thing is certain: O’Sullivan’s noodling days are over. “Doc says I ain’t exactly suited for underwater wrestling anymore,” he lamented, “but hey, at least I got a good story out of it, right?”
As for Catfish Hunter, rumors say he’s still out there, lurking in the murky depths, waiting for his next unsuspecting challenger. Noodlers are advised to proceed with caution, or perhaps, take up a slightly less dangerous hobby, like, say, underwater basket weaving.
Wabasha Man Loses Arm in Catfish Cage Match Wabasha Man Loses Arm in Catfish Cage Match Wabasha
