CONCORD, NC – In a bizarre incident that has authorities baffled, a seemingly routine domestic spat escalated into a supernatural nightmare after Sarah Johnson (32) refused to make her husband, Kevin (34), a sandwich.
“It all started with a craving for a BLT,” Kevin recounted, visibly shaken. “I asked Sarah to whip one up, you know, like a normal spouse. But instead, she just gave me this withering look and said, ‘Make it yourself, Kevin, I’m not your personal chef.’”
According to witnesses, the air crackled with an unnatural tension following Sarah’s refusal. The lights flickered, a cold wind swept through the room, and a faint scent of sauerkraut filled the air. Then, in a flash of sulphurous light, a figure materialized in the kitchen – a man with a toothbrush mustache and a haunted glint in his eyes.
“Well, this is a cozy little setup you’ve got here,” the apparition boomed in a vaguely Austrian accent. “Just the kind of Aryan domestic bliss I yearn for.”
Experts from the Institute of Paranormal Domestic Disputes (IPDD) were called to the scene. “Based on the historical context and the, uh, distinctive facial hair,” explained Dr. Harold Loomis of the IPDD, “we can safely assume this entity is the spirit of Adolf Hitler.”
Apparently, Hitler’s restless spirit, forever yearning for a simpler time, latched onto Kevin’s hangry despair as a potential gateway to the mortal realm. “It seems the combination of a denied sandwich and a particularly sassy and combative wife, created a perfect storm for a little Führer-facilitating,” Dr. Loomis elaborated.
The IPDD was eventually able to banish Hitler’s spirit back to the netherworld with a combination of a cold beer, a plate of pre-made sandwiches, and a strongly worded lecture on the importance of keeping a supply of deli meats on hand.
Sarah, understandably shaken, offered a simple explanation for the bizarre incident. “Honestly, I never realized the importance of a simple sandwich. Had I just spent 1 minute in the kitchen, maybe I wouldn’t have accidentally summoned the ghost of a genocidal dictator.”
Kevin, sheepishly munching on a store-bought ham and cheese, mumbled a half-hearted apology.
This incident serves as a stark reminder: a happy spouse makes a happy house, and neglecting basic kitchen duties can have truly horrifying consequences. So next time your partner has a craving, consider whipping them up a damned sandwich – you never know what kind of evil entity you might unwittingly unleash.
Sandwich denial summons sinister spectral surprise Sandwich denial summons sinister spectral surprise
